One of the questions I’ve been dwelling on lately, as I’m sure my other posts reflect, is: Will I ever be at the point in my life I’m striving so hard to reach?
Not only do I stress about money and lack thereof, but I worry that I’m getting caught up in things that aren’t important. Do the things I want even matter? I feel materialistic and self centered when I consider the house, car, and lifestyle I want for my future. Does wanting these things make me selfish? Or, is the fact that I’m predisposed to this sort of life because of where I was born to blame for my materialistic dreams? Is it wrong to want a certain house? Or should I be focusing on my actions toward others, issues such as deforestation, and our rocky economy/society in hopes to better them? How much can one person really do? I understand that nothing can be accomplished if no one speaks up for change… But are we too opinionated? How much will our society agree on to work toward?
Welcome to my anxiety wrought mind. After fumbling down this massive and ever expansive mudslide of questions, I stop and focus on how I feel. Yes, the fact that I was born and raised in America probably has a lot to do with the lifestyle I envision myself having in the future. But is that a bad thing? No. It isn’t. My wants and desires very well may be materialistic, but I already have everything else I could ever want. Realizing that fact makes me see that the materials around me don’t matter, they’re just comforts. And comforts are a healthy part of life if, as with everything, they’re taken in moderation.
As for focusing on what our society can/should/might work on collectively… there’s no point. I can only realistically change aspects of my own life and those who I come into contact with directly. If I choose to lead by example and strive to be more and more compassionate each day then I feel that I’m doing my part to better our world.
In focusing on how I feel instead of on how things may go wrong or be perceived negatively, I come to terms with my current situation. I’ve been working toward this lifestyle since I graduated high school… probably even while I was still in high school. I am actively creating the opportunities I want in life by choosing what to work toward each day. So, as long as I’m choosing to remain compassionate, I think I’m doing alright in life.
I realize that the answer to my question is no, I will never be at the point that I’m striving to reach. Because once I reach that point, I will strive for more and better things for myself and my family. And that’s okay.
As always, thank you for reading into my thoughts.
vanessasthoughtbubble 